Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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