Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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