The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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