he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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