I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize