haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
