I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
