can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
PANTIES FOUND
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