Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i believe in u and ur pee
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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