his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize