Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize