New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
