I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
