I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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