this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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