I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
