No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Randomize
