He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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