sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.