Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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