can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
