Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
