i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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