I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
