She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
