How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
