Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
