I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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