i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
