Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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