Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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