she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize