fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't turn off my feet"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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