My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
