Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
there's paper in my vomit.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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