Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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