I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
