dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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