fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
