I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
