he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
