the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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