apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
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She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
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Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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