I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
