There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
