i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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