I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
