I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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