maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
