grandma shit on top of the toilet
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
