Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
