The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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