my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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