How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize