Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
