I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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