I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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