And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
