My hand turned me down
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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