I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
