Don't you send me to vm
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
