My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
