Just mADE A PArabola og urine
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You know, be my cock's hype man.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
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There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
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Sorry I peed on your ottoman
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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