I wish I only lived at night.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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