I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize
