Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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