so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
