the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
