I hope mine doesn't look like that
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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