According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
