I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize