He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
