i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
