question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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