next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
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I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
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Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
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