I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
